Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Funny Things Students Do

You know what no one ever told me about teaching? My kids would try to set me up on dates. Claiming marriage or children would stand in the way merely tells my students that it is now tragic, forbidden love. It happens every year when we read Romeo and Juliet. Nevermind that the play is not a love story, but the story of two young people in lust and crazy about it. Every year it turns into another excuse to remind my kids that they are supposed to be trying to set me up with someone.

You know what else is hilarious? When students try to blame you for something and it falls flat. See, my kids had the rough draft of their monologues due last Friday. As I expected, I had a few kids not turn theirs in. I passed them back on Tuesday so that we could draft some more. After I was finished passing them back and began explaining about the final draft, I heard a frantic "What about mine? WHAT ABOUT MINE?!?" I'd passed back everything I had. What about his? "You lost it! YOU LOST MY MONOLOGUE!" I told him to hold on and check his own belongings before accusing me of losing things. He rifled through papers quickly before crossing his arms and declaring it still was not there. I calmly walked over to him, shuffled more slowly and found his rough draft. The only sound that issued from his mouth was a faint "oh" as he turned red. I knew I didn't lose it.

Students also get a bit too attached and start to ask if they can just stay in your room all day. Nevermind that they don't want to do work. Nevermind that they complained about the work you had them do the first time around. Nevermind that they've even called your class boring today! Nope. With about five minutes left to go, at least one kid will ask "Hey, can I stay here the rest of the day?" No. Sorry. You have to go learn today.

Students are funny. Getting to hang out with students sure makes up for the draining, political side of education.

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